When people first begin attending Financial Peace University, the are often scared, frustrated and ashamed of their financial situation. Registering for a class and committing to learn something new is incredibly brave, and it feels inappropriate to add any guilt to an already tender situation by challenging people to grow in their giving right away. I am incredibly grateful that although giving is the first item on Ramsey’s Budgeting worksheets, it is the last lesson taught in the nine week class.
We started tithing when we first married and were living on two incomes. It was challenging but deeply rewarding. We faced the death of our son Jack and life with his surviving twin brother while initially still meeting our commitment. However, acclimating to one income, parenthood, grief, and a falling away from our church began a slide in our regular giving. For a couple of years we gave sporadically to people and organizations with whom we felt a connection while searching for a new church home and a financial plan that would work. When we needed help the most, we stumbled into a congregation we grew to love, and then read The Total Money Makeover. We made the connection between budgeted giving and growth in our faith and returned to giving a tithe on our take-home pay (minus taxes and insurance) while working to melt our debt snowball. Returning to tithing was difficult, but giving and budgeting in tandem changed us in profound ways. Here are some of the truths that we learned by giving throughout our Baby Steps:
Giving Grows Contentment - Looking back on the Summer of 2007, when we decided to give the Ramsey Plan a shot, we lacked contentment. We felt justified using a credit card because it was only for “needs.” We believed we were wise to borrow against our 401K for a motorcycle because we would be paying ourselves back the interest. We were proud that we had found a creative way to finance our home borrowing 103% of the principal so that we could skip a down payment and bypass PMI. Our rush into these purchases reflects a time when we were constantly measuring our happiness by what we could accumulate. Ranking patience and discipline above purchases was not a part of our character. Deciding to freeze our borrowing forced us to look closely at what we had and decide it was enough.
Contentment grows with cultivation, and living with a barebones budget for several years intensified the growth of our contentment. This peace was a byproduct of making more money and spending less while watching our friends move up in cars and homes. We realized we were both giving to charity at a rate that months before would had seemed impossible, and also steadily retiring debts. Accomplishing this much while living within our means shifted our thinking, and it became clear that “We have enough.” From that point on, comparing and craving material possessions loosened its grip on our hearts, and we were able to live fully in the blessings right in front of us. It’s not clear whether contentment grew out of living on a budget or systematic giving, but however it happened, this experience both changed the way we live and the way we give.
Giving Reflects our Values - Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be” (Matthew 6:21). The ways that we spend our money are a direct representation of the values that we care about. When I scroll through debit card purchases or the titles of my cash envelopes, I see a lot about investing in relationships, making things beautiful, building a future, and caring for others. I am most authentic when my spending reflects my values, and giving to our church and other important organizations is a critical part of our story. Figuring out how to align finances with values shouldn’t wait until a milestone is reached, but can be done anytime along the Baby Steps.
Giving is Fun - Giving is the most fun you can have with your money. If you haven’t experienced the joy of giving anonymously, I’d encourage you to give it a shot. Sometimes you even can hear the person muse about who sent the gift all the while you were the one who wrote the check, paid the bill, or made the purchase. While we were paying off our debt snowball, we set aside a small amount each month for date night. This account took several months to grow to a point where we could go out for a nice meal or see a movie. For one date we arranged childcare the night before and went out for breakfast at a local diner in the morning. We noticed our waitress was hustling and dealing with some really rotten customers a couple tables over. Without really thinking about it, my husband and I both ordered small meals with the intention of leaving a sizable tip. We scooted out of the restaurant before the waitress retrieved our bill, but it was a ton of fun to imagine her response. Leaving a big tip was definitely more fun than ordering a full breakfast would have been. The story is far more memorable and fun than how we could have spent the money on ourselves in the diner.
We Want to Model Generosity - More is caught than taught, and if we want our children to become givers, they need to see us do it regularly. We give electronically to our church, but I am grateful that there are placards in the pews that say, “I give electronically” as a visual reminder for our kids to see that we are giving weekly to our congregation.
I love when our kids are able to bear witness to some of our secret surprise gifts, such as an incident in Aldi a few years back. A woman in the checkout line was seething. She was waiting at the register with a cart full of groceries that she was unable to pay for. I told her that I hoped her day got better, and full of shame she replied, “My company didn’t deposit my check today. They were supposed to, and they didn’t, and now I can’t pay for this.” With my two boys watching, I looked at what was left in my envelope and told the cashier I would like to pay for $28 of her $36 purchase. The cashier looked a little taken back, and then told the woman the company would pick up the remaining balance. The stunned woman gave me a hug that I’ll remember forever and whispered into my ear, “You are an angel.” My kids saw this exchange and learned that sometimes, we just need to help each other out.
Giving Puts God to the Test - “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! (Malachi 3:10)
I hadn’t studied this scripture much until I was invited to join the Vibrant Stewardship Project a few years back. The aim of the research was to look for reasons why people were generous in our congregation and decipher how that quality might be fostered in other faith communities. As I reflected on the challenge of putting God to the test, I was humbled to think about all of the different ways that God had blessed our giving. We have an amazing marriage, great kids, a loving extended family, meaningful work, and a lovely home. We also had been the recipients of generous financial gifts following the death of our son that actually nearly matched the offering we had given our church that year. Could these blessings be the response that explain this charge in Malachi?
While I am uncomfortable advocating giving with the expectation of receiving something (especially money) in return, I am consistently amazed at the number of families that experience the outpouring of blessings when they begin to manage their finances in a new way and give for the first time. So many families have shared how their marriages are stronger, their kids are more wholehearted, and their lives are less consumed by challenges. Still more share instances where unexpected money shows up in the form of gifts, refunds and bonuses. We didn’t start giving because we wanted to put God to the test, but are grateful for the ways that He has supported us in return..
One of the most rewarding parts of teaching Financial Peace University is helping people understand giving in a new way. I am grateful for the many stories shared about how giving has changed the people offering their income, as well as those on the receiving end of others’ generosity..
When is a time that a gift of generosity has changed you?